


Texting With An S

by strider_heichou_booty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Baking, Daddy Kink, F/M, Funny, Heterosexuality, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Sexting, Strider - Freeform, Texting, egbert - Freeform, promiscuous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2644400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strider_heichou_booty/pseuds/strider_heichou_booty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dad expected nothing less of his afternoon than to be baking filled, but a certain promiscuous Strider butts into that and flips it upside down with the power of a few text messages</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Biscuits Keeping Him Busy

Biscuits Keeping Him Busy  
~~~  
Dad Egbert had just finished with baking the family favourite chocolate chip cookies and was peacefully drying off his utensils, having scrubbed them to his acquired standard of perfection. His attention was diverted to that confusing iPhone Ms LaLonde had given him the previous Christmas as it buzzed and dinged. He carefully set down his towel and spoon, walking over to the island countertop from the kitchen sink to retrieve aforementioned electronic device. He entered the PIN code he was told not to forget and unlocked the screen to check his messages. Oh how he regretted that decision. None other than the charming Sis Strider had texted him. He gave her his number in case of emergency with John and Dave what with the boys spending so much time together, but the girl would abuse the use of said number to send multiple pointless messages throughout the day. Had he not installed his messenger application that used WiFi rather than credit, she'd be skyrocketing his phone bill. But everyday without fail, the blonde would get him at the exact moments he'd have finished a task. How she did it with such precision was beyond him, but none the less she mamaged it. And thus; the cycle of his daily torment began.


	2. Do You Have A Moment?

Do You Have A Moment?  
~~~  
"Hey Daddy-o~" Sis had messaged.  
"Hello Ms Strider" was Dad's reply.  
"Please Pops, we've talked about this. Call me Sis"  
"We have also spoken about your insistent texts and pet names"  
"That's different"  
"No it is not"  
"It is though"  
"How so?"  
"Dunno"  
"Precisely my point"  
"Spoil sport"  
"Might I inquire as to if there is purpose to your messaging me?"  
"Yes"  
"Develop if you will"  
"Oh it's developing nicely, Mr Egbert~"  
He frowned slightly at her reply. "I do not think I understand..."  
A moment or two longer than her previous messages, another started loading in the format of a picture message. He hesitated but tapped it before it was finished so as to go full screen. Although that mightn't have been his smartest move from what was in the photograph. His eyes widened considerably as the image of Sis Strider in a rather suggestive pose across her futon surfaced on the screen. She wore a pair of extremely short black shorts, a VERY low necked white tank top and black thigh high stockings. Her cleavage was on near enough full view and her plump toned thighs just stole the show. To no surprise the blonde clad those ever present anime shades. Dad brought his free hand to his mouth, unable to look away from his phone in the other. Oh, what had he gotten himself into?


	3. How About No?

How About No?  
~~~  
Dad's thumb pressed down on the back button to hastily start typing back to Sis.  
"Ms Strider I did not appreciate that photo"  
"C'mon I know you did"  
"I admit to nothing of the sort"  
"So you're just denying a raging boner the attention it wants? OK, I understand"  
"Ms Strider, please"  
"Please help with your boner? I can do that"  
Before he could give reason as to how that wasn't what he meant, another image popped up, from another angle than the first and a pose with more leg showing. Deeper colour surged to his already bright pink cheeks.  
Meanwhile, in the Strider apartment, our bombshell blonde was smirking to herself whilst laying across the futon. Messing with Egbert's head had become a beloved hobby, his prim and proper replies to everything making her giggle every so often. She swiftly conjured her next move.  
"Was that satisfactory, Pops?"  
"Ms Strider I am not happy about this"  
"Oh are you not? I gotta change your mind then"  
"No, do not"  
By the time he replied, her shorts had met the floor and the camera of her phone was above her. The front and side of her lacy black thong was visible, along with her propped up knee and smooth thigh. Wanting to see what he'd do, she sent the picture.  
"Sneak preview, Daddy~" A long pause followed.


	4. If They Saw

If They Saw  
~~~  
"That is very inappropriate" Dad answered. Score.  
"Isn't like anyone else will see, now will they?"  
"If my John were to walk in?"  
"About time he gets the talk"  
"And what about if Dave were to walk in on you taking such photographs as the ones you sent me?"  
"He's seen me in less"  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"Striders don't hide things from each other, Egbert. That's how we learn"  
"I do not understand"  
"Think of it as the difference between tasting and actually making the lasagne"  
"I... still do not exactly understand"  
"Ah, probably best Sir~"  
"I would question further but your replies are getting me nowhere"  
"Ouch. Right in my kokoro," a picture of her tugging the neck of her tank top lower followed.  
"Kokoro?"  
"It goes doki doki~" her thumb hooking into her bra strap.  
"Doki?"  
"I get the blushies", licking her lips.  
"Blushies?"  
"Dang, I'm all riled up~" her tank top being lifted  
"That isn't my doing"  
"Oh but it is~" tank top off  
"How?"  
"God, I'm wet just thinking about you~" fingers trailing down her front.  
"Ms Strider"  
"All this dirty talk and you're givin me nothing"  
"I do not wish to engage in whatever this is"  
"Sexting?"  
"Yes, that"  
"Awwwwwww~"  
"I apologize but it isn't appropriate"  
"It isn't SUPPOSED to be"  
"I realize"  
"You just don't like letting loose"  
"My definition of 'letting loose' is most likely different to yours"  
"When's the last time you got some action?"  
"Action, Ms Strider?"  
"Sex"  
It took a good while to get his next message.


	5. Oh, We've Got Him Now

Oh, We've Got Him Now  
~~~  
"That is none of your business Ms Strider," Dad seemed to have typed very fast, correctly indicating him being flustered.  
"So a really long time?" A smirk graduated to a grin on Sis' face, hoping her cheeky approach would arouse a different reaction from her victim.  
"Why would it be of concern for you to ask such?"  
"I'm very concerned on the matter"  
"Pardon?"  
"You're a bit slow on the uptake, huh?"  
"I have no idea what you are implying, do I want to?"  
"Considering your reluctance to talk about it, it's obvious you haven't given the d in a while. Without lying, am I correct?  
"..."  
"C'mon, don't be shy~"  
"Alright, you are correct"  
"Was it that hard?"  
"Why is it of such relevance?"  
"Because. I'm feeling generous and wanna change your little dilemma"  
"... Ms Strider, you forget our residences are fairly distanced from each other," he actually brought himself to consider taking up her offer, but the faults in her plan seemed quite apparent and obvious. Not to mention how unfair it would be.  
"That's why I'm doing this. Let you have a sample of what you're getting. Plus you have a car"  
"... I see"  
"But I'm not getting an awful lot back so I might as well stop like you said to earlier"  
"Wait"  
"Hm?"  
"... I implied do not stop"  
"Is this you saying you'll join in?"  
"Correct"  
"Goodie~"  
"You are quite manipulative, I do hope you realize"  
"It's a gift really"  
"Of course"  
"So, your turn"  
Dad paused for a moment. It had been a long time since he had done foolish innuendous things. In fact, he had never done something as risky as involve the internet in an escapade of this category. How would he go about it? A brief few seconds of thought and he made his way to the living room, the couch holding the comfort of his backside. He had an idea.


	6. We're Getting Somewhere At Last

We're Getting Somewhere At Last  
~~~  
"It's rude to keep a lady waiting, Mr E," Sis' thumbs ventured her keyboard's letters, getting a little impatient as her excitement was dying down. It flared back up again however as Dad finally sent a picture. Being a modest man, he started with simply his lap, dress pants on as always was the case.  
"Sufficient?" he had typed with it, almost knowingly being a tease.  
"Definitely not"  
"Oh? What would you better suggest?"  
"Trousers off, Pops," she was inwardly frustrated. Very frustrated. That subsided as another image from her participant displayed itself. Strong thighs and calves shaped the pixels perfectly, socks held up with old fashioned garters to his shins. Those wear definitely tightie whities she saw.  
"How about now?" he was half hoping she would leave him be at that, but the other side of him was waiting for a further instruction.  
"Much better, I think a reward will be good," she practically molested the picture with her eyes, an anticipation building up in her mind. She sat up and held the camera of her phone at such an angle it captured all of her front, from shoulders to hips, deciding to put her shirt back on and keep it so a little longer.  
"Intriguing..." he bit the inside of his cheek, feeling significant warmth well up in his crotch area at her shapely figure, especially her wide hips. Getting a good enough understanding of the photo options, he retook his previous picture. At first she frowned but at second glance she noticed it wasn't the same image as before, and that he was letting her know he was pitching a tent in his underwear.  
"Mhmm. Now do as I do," she grinned to herself while lifting her shirt halfway, snapping that and clicking send. His reponse; he unbuttoned most of his shirt and captured a new picture from the self facing camera to show it. Flitters of her excitement sparked up again as she hastily tugged her tank top off, eager to see if his torso lived up to her expectations. That picture cast across, she waited for an answer like a little kid wanting Christmas to come quicker.


	7. Oh My, Mr Egbert

Dad let his shirt fall from his shoulders and made light work of neatly folding it, setting it to the side. He captured what he hoped was sufficient as a full torso shot. Sis' toes curled on the opposite end and she giggled in delight. He was definitely in shape for his age, with a flat stomach and a strong chest. Not overwhelmingly muscled by any means. His skin looked smooth and firm, signifying he kept a careful close shave of his skin at all times on his body much like his face. The only thing she wanted at that very moment was to reach out and touch him, instead having to settle for gripping the futon cushion below her.  
"That brazilian go all the way down Egbert?" she hooked her thumb under the elastic of her thong and pulled it away from her hip, edging it down slightly for him to know what she was implying.  
"Why not take an educated guess Ms Strider?" he dared to be cheeky back to her, mimicking the pose by having most of his v-line on show. No happy trail made it clear she was right in him being well groomed.  
"Are you being sassy with me?" she bit her lip, displaying her underwear around her ankles with the camera facing away from her.  
"It would seem so," he felt a small tug at the left edge of his lips, more amused than he thought he'd be. Again he mirrored her, tighty whities down south. She didn't give any worded reply as she directed the lens back to her front while she unclipped her bra. Lucky choice of the day; it was a front closing one. Seeing as his chest was already bare, he simply took his fedora off, his foot tapping lightly as he wanted to see her next move. Her next angle seemed to perfectly capture her valuptuous breasts in all their Strider glory, matching her wonderfully plush rump. He pressed his nails to his palms with a stiff sigh as his eyes rounded her perfect curvature. His member throbbed at this stage, begging for attention. He decided to himself take the lead and press his finger to where his thin lips joined. She thought for a moment and developed further, the first knuckle of her index finger past her own plump rosebud lips. He let himself smirk, dragging his tongue over his finger tip. Her face lit up a deep pink, pressing her thighs together. She knew exactly what he meant and her downstairs area pleaded for it. But torture went both ways, and she went with making it obvious she was sucking on her digit. Finally in the swing of things, he trailed his hand down his belly, getting more hip action fitted in on screen. She whined to herself, sliding her hand down her inner thigh. What he did next genuinely surprised her, not expecting him to be so forward...


End file.
